Toxic Churches/Toxic Leaders

I was reading 3^rd John and was amazed by how toxic a Christian church had already become just a few years after Jesus was here on earth.

John was a disciple of Jesus. He walked with him for more than three years, learning and growing in his presence. Yet, here in this book of the Bible, John was writing to Gaius, a believer in Jesus, about a toxic church and leader.

First John commended Gaius for helping the “traveling teachers” who had come from Jerusalem to encourage the church. Gaius took them into his house and cared for their needs. But there was a man in the local church who refused to do this. In fact, he would throw anyone out of the church who helped these teachers. John said this man, Diotrephes, would not listen to those of the church in Jerusalem. “I wrote to the church about this, but Diotrephes, who loves to be the leader, refuses to have anything to do with us.”   3 John 1:9

Imagine the rebellion of not listening to the disciples of Jesus at that time. John said this man had always wanted to be a “leader.” Now he was, and he was committing great sin and leading others to do the same.

Paul, in his letters, spoke of the same thing. False teachers leading others astray. I think some people think the Christian churches are doing something new by being unlike Christ. No, it isn’t new, it has happened for more than 2,000 years. Jesus warned us of this. He said, “Beware of false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?  Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. So then, by their fruit you will recognize them.”  Matthew 7:15-20

And this is the fruit: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”  Galatians 5:22,23

If a pastor, leader or church does not have the fruit of the Spirit, it will become toxic and harmful to everyone it touches. They bring upon all Christianity a bad name. They slander God and the gospel.

So be careful about what and whom you believe. The Bible says, “Dear friends, do not believe everyone who claims to speak by the Spirit. You must test them to see if the spirit they have comes from God. For there are many false prophets in the world.”  1 John 4:1

Is There an Eternal Hell? No.

I do not believe there is an eternal hell of torment for those who are wicked. I could not worship or love a God who would do this to anyone. Very few human beings would torture people forever. If God is just, then this would not be justice.

The Jewish people of old did not believe in this teaching either. There are hundreds of scriptures that teach us the wicked will be destroyed, not live on forever. There are a few that have made some people think differently. But that is because they misinterpret the Bible.

 The Bible must be searched carefully from beginning to end to understand a subject. We must not take a verse here or there on which to hang our teachings.

I have found some studies on Hell online and share them with you now. If you want to know the truth, you must study. “Now the Berean Jews were of more noble character than those in Thessalonica, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.”  Acts 17:11

The Origin of Hell-Fire in Christian Teaching.

Taken from: The Origin of Hell-Fire in Christian Teaching (truthaccordingtoscripture.com)

The concept of a soul within us that cannot die first became a ‘Christian’ doctrine at the end of the second century AD. Hell had been taught in Greek philosophy long before the time of Jesus, with Plato (427-347 BC) as the important leader in this thinking.

The teaching of an everlasting place of punishment for the wicked is the natural consequence of a belief in an immortal soul. By the year AD 187, it was understood that life, once we have it, is compulsory; there is no end to it, either now or in a world to come. We have no choice as to its continuance, even if we were to commit suicide to end it.

At the end of the 2nd century Christianity had begun to blend Greek philosophy —human speculative reasoning, with the teachings of God’s Word. Such words and phrases as ‘continuance of being’, ‘perpetual existence’, ‘incapable of dissolution’ and ‘incorruptible’ began to appear in so-called Christian writings. These had come straight from Plato, the Greek philosopher, all those years before Jesus. Other phrases used were ‘the soul to remain by itself immortal’, and ‘an immortal nature’. It was taught that this is how God made us. But this idea derives from philosophy, not divine inspiration. There are no such words in the Bible. It was Athenagorus, a Christian, but whose teachings, according to the Encyclopaedia Britannica, were strongly tinged with Platonism, who had introduced the teaching of an immortal soul into Christianity. In this way, he paved the way for the logical introduction of eternal torment for immortal, but sinful, souls. This was a hundred years and more after the time of the apostles, and came straight from popular philosophy. The apostles had consistently taught that death is a sleep, to be followed by resurrection. The early church leaders – Clement, Ignatius, Hermas, Polycarp, and others who also believed that death is a sleep, taught that the wicked are destroyed forever by fire – their punishment was to be annihilation.  These leaders did not teach of an immortal soul to be tortured by fire in hell for eternity.

About AD 240 Tertullian of Carthage took up the teaching of an immortal soul. It was he who added the further, but logical dimension. He taught the endless torment of the immortal soul of the wicked was parallel to the eternal blessedness of the saved, with no sleep of death after this life.

This came at a time when many Christians were being burned for their faith and it was natural for them to accept that their persecutors would at death be consigned to an ever-burning hell for the persecution they had inflicted on others while they went straight to eternal bliss.

From the third century the darkness of the infiltration of man-made beliefs into Christianity deepened until the Dark Ages had smothered almost all the light of God’s Word. At the beginning of this time, the first attempts were made to create a systematic set of beliefs. It is not surprising that an ever-burning hell and the immortality of the soul were prominently included.

It is at this time that such beliefs, held by most Christians today, had their origin. An ever-burning hell has remained a commonly taught doctrine of the Christian religion to this day. It was not based on the Bible but on philosophy. Bible verses were later sought to uphold the ancient philosophies of the Greeks, and added to the teaching.

Eventually under the influence of Augustine, AD 430, the concept of endless conscious torment was brought into general acceptance by the Catholic Church in the Western world. He taught that all souls were deathless and consequently the lost would experience endless fires of punishment, immediately upon the end of this life.

Doesn’t everlasting fire mean that hell will be burning ceaselessly and eternally?

There are some Bible verses that may appear to say that. Let us look at some of these verses. ( From: How long does hell burn for? | Bibleinfo.com)

“Everlasting” Bible texts

In Matthew 25:46, Jesus said, “These shall go away into everlasting punishment but the righteous into eternal life.”

Mark 9:43, “And if your hand makes you sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go to hell, into the fire that shall never be quenched.”

Revelation 14:11, “And the smoke of their torment ascends up forever and ever.”

Other Bible texts

Before we make a Bible doctrine from these verses, we need to see if there are other verses that speak of the punishment of the wicked.

First let us go to Malachi 4:1,3. “For behold the day is coming burning like and oven, and all the proud, yes all who do wickedly shall be as stubble. And the day that is coming shall burn them up, says the Lord of hosts, that shall leave them neither root nor branch. . . You shall trample the wicked for they shall be ashes under the soles of your feet.”

These verses tell us that the wicked will be burned up, burned to ashes.

In another place the Bible says in Psalms 37:10, 11, “For yet a little while and the wicked shall be no more; Indeed, you will look diligently for his place, but it shall be no more.”

Jude 7 makes this subject very plain. “As Sodom and Gomorrah and the cities around them in a similar manner, having given themselves over to sexually immorality and gone after strange flesh,  are set forth as an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.” Sodom and Gomorrah are not burning today, yet the Bible says they suffered the vengeance of eternal fire. How can this be explained? It means that these cities were completely burned, until there was nothing left.

What does everlasting mean?

There is another way to determine the meaning of the word eternal or everlasting.

In English these words mean that the fire will go on forever, but in the Greek it has a different meaning. Dr. Basil Atkinson explains it this way. 

“When the adjective aionios,  meaning  everlasting is used in Greek  with nouns of action it has reference to the result of the act, not the process. The phrase everlasting punishment  is comparable to everlasting redemption and everlasting salvation, both Scriptural phrases. No one supposes that we are being redeemed or saved forever. We were redeemed and saved once for all by Christ with eternal results. In the same way the lost will not be passing through the process of punishment forever but will be punished  once and for all with eternal results. On the other hand the noun ‘life’ is not a noun of action, but a noun expressing a state. Thus life itself is eternal.”

God is love

The Bible says, God is love, 1 John 4:8. God loves His enemies. As the soldiers were nailing Jesus to the cross, He prayed, Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do (Luke 23:34). As I live, says the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live. Turn, turn from your evil ways!  For why should you die, O house of Israel (Ezekiel 33:11).

God cannot allow sin, crime and violence to continue to cause suffering and death in this world. But He is not one to torture His children. So He does the most loving thing He can do, He destroys them eternally. The Bible says, “he will make an utter end: affliction shall not rise up the second time” (Nahum 1: 9).

Myths About Hell.

Myths About Hell – Publishing (adventistpublishing.org)

Interestingly, the Bible gives us explicit information on when hell would begin and where it would be located. As you might have guessed, misconceptions abound on these two points. In Matthew 13:49 Jesus speaks plainly saying, “So shall it be at the end of this world: the angels shall come forth, and sever the wicked from among the just, and shall cast them into the furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth.”* According to this text and many others like it,(1) the flames of hell will not exist until the end of the world. That’s right! Your loved ones are not being burned alive as you read this tract.

Next, we see that the apostle Peter gives us clear information on where hell will be located. Speaking of the end of the world he says, “But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night, in which the heavens will pass away with a great noise, and the elements will melt with fervent heat; both the earth and the works that are in it will be burned up.”(2) The prophet Zephaniah also speaks of, “the whole land,” being “devoured by the fire of His jealousy.”(3) Here we see that hell is not some giant chasm of flames in the center of the earth; rather, it will be located right here on earth at the end of the world devouring “the whole land.”

Perhaps the most important thing to understand about hell can be found in the famous text John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” Here Jesus clearly states that it is the believers who are the ones that live eternally, not the wicked. What!? The wicked don’t live eternally writhing in flames? Correct!

The wicked are to burn only until there is nothing left to burn. Malachi brings this point out well: “For behold, the day is coming, burning like an oven, and all the proud, yes, all who do wickedly will be stubble. And the day which is coming shall burn them up,”(4) In fact, just so we could be sure that he was speaking literally about the utter destruction of the wicked he goes on to say, “’You shall trample the wicked, for they shall be ashes under the soles of your feet on the day that I do this,’ says the Lord of hosts.”(4) Also, not only will the wicked be destroyed completely in the flames of hell but so will Satan and his wicked angels according to Matt. 25:41 and Rev. 20:10. Contrary to popular belief, God plans to destroy the forces of darkness, not put them in charge of an eternal fire pit in the center of the earth!

But some might say that there are other texts like Rev. 14:11 and 20:10 which point out that the wicked burn eternally. Well, the Bible also says that the prophet Samuel would abide before the Lord in the sanctuary forever,(5) and that the bars of the earth closed about Jonah forever(6) when he was thrown into the sea. Now it is clear from scripture itself that neither of these events lasted forever. What we see here are two examples of the Bible using the term, “forever” to mean a time of indefinite duration where the beginning and ending of that time depend on the nature of the person, circumstance, or thing to which it is applied. An example in our day which is similar is when a man and woman commit to their marriage vow forever. When they do so, the term “forever” simply means as “long as they live.” So how do we know how long “forever” is for those burning in hell? Simple: other passages on the topic explain that “forever” in this instance means until the wicked are utterly consumed. Context is key!

“The LORD preserves all who love Him, but all the wicked He will destroy.” Psalm 145:20

Insomnia.

I’ve had trouble with insomnia for many years. I remember it starting when I would go to sleep at a normal time but within a half hour I would wake up with a jolt. I couldn’t get back to sleep so I would start reading or looking at my ipad.

I’ve looked this up online and they call this, Hypnic Jerks.

Hypnic jerks are involuntary muscle movement that can happen as you fall asleep.

• Hypnic jerks are painless but can accompany other sensations like dreams, hallucinations, or sounds.
• Researchers theorize that nerves in the brainstem trigger the startling reaction.
• Caffeine, exercise before sleep, emotional stress, and sleep deprivation can increase your risk of hypnic jerks.

Hypnic Jerks: Why You Twitch When You Sleep | Sleep Foundation

Another doctor writes that experts don’t know the exact cause of sleep starts, but what seems to be happening is that there’s a neurological tussle between the brain systems that keep you awake and the ones that encourage you to fall asleep.

Why Do I Jerk Awake Right As I’m Falling Asleep? (thecut.com)

But I thought the cause was something different. I had tried giving up caffeine and staying off my tablet to no avail. I thought it might be because my grandson had died and I was fearful of what may happen next to my family.

Two weeks ago, I talked with the Lord about this. I did feel convinced then that it was from a deep fear within me. I told God I knew I couldn’t do anything about that. I needed him to take that fear from me. So I laid my fear at his feet and asked for him to help me. He did do that. I have slept all night without the jerking awake and I have slept for 8 or 9 hours.

My insomnia was so bad I used to stay up all night and finally flop on my bed in exhaustion. I didn’t like being up at night. It was hard to know what to do besides play video games and listen to podcasts. And since being awake during the day I am happier. I can think of more things to do and just generally feel better.

I want to thank God for this. I’m sure having such fear now in his hands is probably the reason I’m happier. Of course, this doesn’t mean I can just go gaily on ignoring the fear. I pray each night for him to take it. Most things in our life don’t just disappear, they come back over and over because they have become ingrained in our minds. Our battle as Christians is to not get discouraged at this, but to realize God understands our struggle and loves us.

A Christmas Eve Miracle.

Christmas Eve I was at my daughter’s house with many members of my family. They started talking about a couple with two children. They were my son-in-law’s relatives. They had just been to visit them and were happy to see how that couple were relating to each other. “They were smiling at each other, holding hands and whispering in each other’s ears,” they said. I asked how the children were doing and they said they seemed happy.

For me, this was a miracle, because I had begun praying for them a few weeks before Christmas. I knew the children were troubled and I was worried about them. I asked God to be in their home and to help them. I saw this transformation as an evidence of God’s work. He always makes life better if people are open to him.

Last year, I started praying for two people who hosted the podcast, “Pivot.” The woman on the podcast said she didn’t understand it, but she had started having feelings about going to church. I was elated and thanked God for sending the Holy Spirit to encourage her to do this.

God has worked in many miraculous ways in my life and my family’s lives, but it is lovely when you see him work in people’s lives whom you don’t even know and live thousands of miles away.

Prayer is powerful because God is powerful. He is the King of the Universe yet left heaven and became a human baby in order to save us. He wants us in his family. He loves family, he created it.

Pointing the Finger.

I give permission for anyone to copy any of my posts.

I’ve often been disheartened by Christians in the news media pointing their fingers at those they deem, “Sinners.” Of course, it’s never about greedy people or those who are oppressing the poor, no it is usually sexual sins they are worried about.

But what did Jesus say about that? Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God before you.  For John came to you in a righteous way and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and prostitutes did. And even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe him. Matthew 21:31,32

I once heard someone say, “Some Christians would criticize the Lord Himself if they went to heaven.” I believe that because Jesus was criticized constantly when he was here on earth. I’m going to give examples of the finger-pointing towards Jesus. I will also record his replies.

As Jesus reclined at table in the house, behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and were reclining with Jesus and his disciples. And when the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” But when he heard it, he said, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. Go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’ For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.”  Matthew 9:10-13

Going on from that place, he went into their synagogue, and a man with a shriveled hand was there. Looking for a reason to bring charges against Jesus, they asked him, “Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath?”

 He said to them, “If any of you has a sheep and it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will you not take hold of it and lift it out? How much more valuable is a person than a sheep! Therefore, it is lawful to do good on the Sabbath.”

 Then he said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” So, he stretched it out and it was completely restored, just as sound as the other. But the Pharisees went out and plotted how they might kill Jesus.

At a different time: But the synagogue leader was indignant that Jesus had healed on the Sabbath. “There are six days for work,” he told the crowd. “So come and be healed on those days and not on the Sabbath.”

 “You hypocrites!” the Lord replied. “Does not each of you on the Sabbath untie his ox or donkey from the stall and lead it to water? Then, should not this daughter of Abraham, whom Satan has kept bound for eighteen long years, be released from her bondage on the Sabbath day?”

When Jesus said this, all His adversaries were humiliated. And the whole crowd rejoiced at all the glorious things He was doing.  Luke 13:14-17

Then some Pharisees and teachers of the Law came from Jerusalem to Jesus and asked him, “Why is it that your disciples disobey the teaching handed down by our ancestors? They don’t wash their hands in the proper way before they eat!” Jesus answered, “And why do you disobey God’s command and follow your own teaching? For God said, ‘Respect your father and your mother,’ and ‘Whoever curses his father or his mother is to be put to death.’ But you teach that if a person has something he could use to help his father or mother, but says, ‘This belongs to God,’ he does not need to honor his father.”  Matthew 15

 As they were going away, behold, a demon-oppressed man who was mute was brought to him.  And when the demon had been cast out, the mute man spoke. And the crowds marveled, saying, “Never was anything like this seen in Israel.”  But the Pharisees said, “He casts out demons by the prince of demons.”  Matthew 9

When Jesus came to the place, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, hurry and come down, for ^fI must stay at your house today.”  So, he hurried and came down and received him joyfully.  And when they saw it, they all grumbled, “He has gone in to be the guest of a man who is a sinner.” And Zacchaeus stood and said to the Lord, “Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor. And if I have defrauded anyone of anything, I restore it fourfold.” And Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, since he also is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.”  Luke 19

There were times when the believers in Jesus pointed the finger at other believers:

Then the disciples of John came to Him, saying, “Why do we and the Pharisees fast, but Your disciples do not fast?” And Jesus said to them, “The attendants of the bridegroom cannot mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them, can they? But the days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast. Mark 12

While Jesus was in Bethany reclining at the table in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of expensive perfume, made of pure nard. She broke open the jar and poured it on Jesus’ head.

Some of those present, however, expressed their indignation to one another: “Why this waste of perfume? It could have been sold for over three hundred denarii (a years wages) and the money given to the poor.” And they scolded her.

But Jesus said, “Leave her alone; why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful deed to Me. The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them whenever you want. But you will not always have Me. She has done what she could to anoint My body in advance of My burial. And truly I tell you, wherever the gospel is preached in all the world, what she has done will also be told in memory of her.”  Mark 14:3-9

In Nazareth, Jesus’ home town, the people there hated what Jesus was saying so much they tried to kill him.  “When they heard these things, all in the synagogue were filled with wrath.  And they rose up and drove him out of the town and brought him to the brow of the hill on which their town was built, so that they could throw him down the cliff.  But walking through their midst, he went away.”  Luke 4

Jesus was criticized even while he hung on the cross, suffering physical and mental pain:

The people stood watching, and the rulers sneered at Him, saying, “He saved others; let Him save Himself if He is the Christ of God, the Chosen One.”

The soldiers also mocked Him and came up to offer Him sour wine. “If You are the King of the Jews,” they said, “save Yourself!” Luke 23:35-37

As soon as the chief priests and officers saw Him, they shouted, “Crucify Him! Crucify Him!”

“You take Him and crucify Him,” Pilate replied, “for I find no basis for a charge against Him.”

 “We have a law,” answered the Jews, “and according to that law He must die, because He declared Himself to be the Son of God.”  John 19

Seeing how many people hated Jesus, pointing their judgmental fingers at him, do you think this is something believers in God should dare to do? It shows how completely wrong their judgement was and how they hated that which is good.

Did Jesus criticize the Romans? Never. But he did criticize those who, instead of loving people, pointed the finger of hate at people. Jesus drew people to himself with his love. I’m sure everyone could see the love in his face and words. Yes, he asked people to repent. We need to see how much we need Jesus, and if we think we are okay, why would we need him?

We are all capable of great sin. We all sin, we all hurt people. We may not even want to, but we do. With Jesus in our lives, he will whisper to our hearts and change us. We won’t be perfect in this world. I think God does not make us perfect in this world or we would become proud. We would take credit for it and our souls would be ruined. St. Paul said he was not perfect, but it was something to strive for.

I loathe the way Christians in power want to force the whole country to become Christian. This is not possible. God wants a willing heart. I think he is capable of knowing if someone is faking it. If Christians had lived like Jesus, many would have been drawn to God. As it is, we have pushed them away.

If people study history any longer, they would know the result of religious force and the uniting of Church and State. It always ends in persecution and death. But this is where we are heading. Gays, news reporters and anyone who doesn’t go along with their brand of religion will be persecuted and eventually be put to death.

This is coming, but we can have hope if we cling to God. He will walk through the fire with us. He will give to us eternal life in a place we were created for. Do we feel so comfortable in this world? That’s because we were made for a better world where there is peace, goodness and love. We will be part of a family with God as our father and Jesus as our brother.

“You’re Not a Christian if…”

Tim Keller is my favorite preacher, but I have heard him say many times that a person is not a Christian if he thinks, says or does… fill in the blank. This has always upset me but I overlooked it because everything else in his preaching is so deep, helpful and meaningful.

I heard him say it again last week. I listen to his old sermons on podcasts. Finally, I thought I should write my opinion on this. It’s just my opinion that I have come to through 53 years of being a believer in Jesus.

I was raised in a strict, evangelical, Bible believing religion. When I became a Christian at 19 years-old I thought the same way as Dr. Keller. If someone was smoking, drinking, partying etc. then they weren’t a Christian. They didn’t have a relationship with God. I was legalistic and judgmental.

I was also super critical of myself and felt guilty over the least little think I did wrong. I thought I could be perfectly like Jesus, but this didn’t happen. I was changed, the Lord changed me so much in wonderful ways, but I still felt hounded by guilt. I think it was because my church was horrified by any sin and never told us that if we messed up, which we would all the time, we were still okay with God and he would forgive us over and over.

It took years for me to understand the grace and forgiveness of God. I love how Jesus said, “If someone sins against you 7 times in one day and asks you to forgive, you must forgive him.” Well, God must feel the same about us and our sins.

One thing someone might say, “If you don’t love God with all your heart and your neighbor as yourself, then you are not a Christian.” I don’t believe that. I believe this is something to strive for through prayer. I myself have been through times when I have hated God, gotten mad at him, or questioned his goodness. I have doubts and fears all the time, yet I know I am a Christian.

Loving God is complicated. We think of love as a feeling, whereas it is an action or principle. I have had feelings of love and admiration for God many times, but this comes and goes. I want to love everyone as myself, but I don’t always do it. I pray for this teaching of Jesus to be in my heart every day and I should trust he can do it.

I know a Christian who hates people, so she says, yet she has done so much good for people she has met, people she doesn’t even know. She has been hurt by people since her childhood, so she has no trust. But the Bible says even Jesus didn’t trust people because he knew what was in their hearts.

Does she feel love for God, no, but she believes he is the God of the Universe and is all good. She says she never wants to make a decision without asking him because she has learned how she messes things up, but God doesn’t.

I think loving God and all people is something we must learn all our lives. It’s a long process called Sanctification. It is like Jesus said about our spiritual growth, “The earth produces crops by itself; first the blade, then the head [of grain], then the mature grain in the head.  Mark 4:28 Crops don’t spring up overnight and we don’t become like Jesus overnight. We have a lot to learn.

I think I’ve learned more about God in the last ten years since I retired from babysitting my grandchildren. I had a lot of time to myself. God showed me some things about myself I didn’t know and wasn’t happy about. He also showed me how he is enough for me. I don’t need anyone or anything more than him. It’s not that it’s been all roses. I’ve gone through long illnesses and another death in my family. Also, recently some conflicts with my daughters that were not pleasant and I got angry and sinned against them by yelling. Didn’t know I had that in me either, to tell the truth. The Lord showed me my sin and I asked for forgiveness, but I’ll tell you I didn’t think it was that bad for two days! Yes, at 73 I am still a sinner for sure, yet Jesus loves me just as I am.

I remember when my mom lived with me, I could see God was teaching her things even though she was in her nineties! I thought, “Man, he never stops!” When she was in rehab for her hip operation, she was acting terrible, threatening people and refusing treatment. I was afraid she “wasn’t a real Christian” and would be lost. But God spoke to one of my daughters and said to her, “Call your mother now and tell her, her mother is going to be saved.” So, she did. She also said, “God sure is loud!” Lol Yes, I guess he can be sometimes. See, I was judging my mother while God was accepting and loving her.

There are many verses in the Bible that tell us we are saved, not by our works, but by our faith in Jesus’ death for us. I know in many churches, including my old one, you can’t get baptized until you stop sinning and sign a paper promising to keep all the teachings of the church. In the Bible, people were baptized right away. All they had to do is believe. We are so far away from that simple faith, and maybe some of the books of the New Testament even sound like we have to be so perfect. I don’t know, I just want to believe the simple things Jesus taught and not worry about my salvation and judge other people about their salvation. Jesus said we will know if teachers of the gospel are good by their fruits. I’m going to list the fruits of the Holy Spirit. These are words of love we should aspire to.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

Galatians 5:22-23, NIV

Hate and Sex Education.

Anyone can copy anything on my blog posts and use them.

When I was in 8^th grade, I took sex education. This was in 1964. All I remember was a list of diseases we girls could get from boys. I’ll never forget how they told us you could get Herpes from cold sores on a boy’s mouth. I had just kissed a boy with cold sores. I was horrified.

I told my mom I might have this sexual disease. She didn’t ask any questions, just took me to a doctor where they did some tests. He came back in the room and asked me where I thought I got a sexually transmitted disease. I told him I kissed a boy with cold sores on his mouth. The doctor was furious with my mom. He asked her if she had asked me about this and she had to say no.

At the time, I was dating and my parents had just assumed I was having sex because I was already drinking and smoking. I was a virgin, but then, they never asked. Sex was not talked about in my family.

When my daughter had sex education at school it was co-ed. I asked her how it went and she said, “I wanted to ask questions, but there were boys there, so I didn’t.” I thought that probably the boys wanted to ask questions too, but the girls were there. Ridiculous to have co-ed sex education, but they still do it.

I believe sex education is good for teens. They need to know they can get diseases and how to prevent that. They need to know how to use contraceptives to prevent pregnancy. They need to know sex is an important activity.

I should probably tell you now, I am a Christian. But I know that kids who take sex education classes have less unplanned pregnancies. I know my daughter always made every male she had sex with wear a condom and she has never caught a disease. I’m glad about that. I didn’t want her to have sex until she was married, but I’m not stupid and I accepted her as she was. Turns out she and my other daughter were bi-sexual too.

My wonderful younger sister is a lesbian. Or perhaps bi-sexual, since she has been with men also. But she prefers women. She is a Christian too. She is such a blessing to me spiritually. God shows her many things about life that have helped me. I try to help her too. We are opposites politically and in many other ways, but our love for each other overcomes that. She likes Trump, I think he isn’t fit to be President. We know we each have the right to believe how we want. She doesn’t believe being a lesbian is a sin at all. Neither do my daughters and granddaughters. For myself, I’m not sure and leave it all in God’s hands. Paul says in the Bible that if someone believes something is a sin, then to them it is sin, if someone believes something is not a sin, then to them it is no sin. Can’t argue with that.

Okay, so now I am getting to the subject of “Parent’s Rights,” as far as sex education goes. I have been listening to arguments from both sides of this issue for a long, long time. What has hurt me the most is how those who want LGBQ etc. taught in schools tell everyone who doesn’t want this part of sex emphasized, hate gays, trans kids etc. For me, this is the farthest from the truth you can get. I do not hate trans kids, lesbians, Queers, etc. Not at all. I just think, from what I have read and heard, sex education has become too involved and intimate.

By that, I mean going into detail about what everyone does sexually and how sex can be “fluid” and one’s sexual tastes can change and this seems to encourage experimentation. I’m not saying sexual desires can’t be fluid, I’m saying we don’t need to teach this to kids who don’t even know who they are yet.

Sure, teach them about the different kinds of sex there is in the world, and teach them we should never judge or hate anyone who likes a different kind of sex. But after you inform them, let them come to their own conclusions about themselves. Give them that freedom.

Now to the nitty-gritty: bathroom laws. This sharing of bathrooms and locker rooms with trans men and women horrified me at first. Mainly because I was sexually abused by my father and my mom and daughters were all sexually assaulted during their lives by men. Teachers, bosses, doctors, dentists and even a Bible Salesman, have harmed my family.

If you don’t think a man would pretend to be Trans so he could go in a woman’s bathroom, then you don’t know much about men. They have done this and will keep doing this. I have written online to some podcasters who think people hate gays because of the same way I feel, yet when a few of them went to a nude women’s spa and a man came in saying he was Trans and wanted to join in, they were pretty upset. Luckily, the woman in charge told him no.

Privacy, this is very important to most people, but a woman has no privacy if men are allowed in the public washrooms. How do we know if they are truly Trans? We don’t. When I have read of young girls having to share locker rooms with boys it fills me with anger. Not at the boy, not at all, but at the new laws that allow it.

I’m sure most of us have heard and seen some of the books at the schools on sex, even in elementary schools. Some are explicit, which I think is terrible. When I see a placard that says, “Let Children be Children,” I know what they mean. Children don’t need to be thinking about sex, especially the intimate details of how to do it or how to pleasure another person.

I don’t know what else the “Parent’s Rights,” organizations talk about. These are the problems I myself see with the new sex education. I sincerely hope we can teach love, acceptance, and kindness to people of all sexes, races and identities. This is what the world needs now, but the biggest problem we have is hating each other and calling each other haters. I don’t hate anyone and I don’t want anyone to hate me, but I am expecting it.

Don’t Put God in A Box.

Don’t Put God in A Box.

As I was writing this, it came to me I might have written about this subject before. My memory isn’t very good and my computer files are a mess because I know nothing about computers, so I can’t look it up. Nevertheless, I will post this anyway. Every time I read the Bible or listen to a good sermon I see more and understand more, so here it is:

I listened to a sermon by Tim Keller on Elijah the prophet. What he said was meaningful to me. He told us about the time Elijah was depressed and had run away from the king and queen of Israel. Queen Jezebel had threatened to kill him, so he ran and ran until exhausted, he came to a broom tree. He sat under it and asked God to take his life.

The day before this, Elijah had a contest with the pagan priests about who was the true God. They both built alters on top of a small mount and prayed for their gods to bring down fire. Only Elijah’s alter was set on fire from heaven. The people shouted, “The Lord, he is God.” Elijah left the mount and ran into the city with King Ahab. He was probably sure everything would now change for him, because previously the king and queen had been hunting for him to kill him.

But when Elijah heard the threat from Jezebel, he knew the demonstration of God’s power had not affected anything. He felt his work was a failure and it was over, but he was wrong. God had a lot more for him to do.

Twice, as Elijah lay there, an Angel of the Lord came and cooked warm bread and provided cool water for him. He said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” He did that and was given strength to walk in the wilderness for 40 days until he came to Mr. Horeb, which was known as the “Mountain of God.” It was the place God had met with Moses and the children of Israel.

So he got up and ate and drank. And strengthened by that food, he walked forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. The LORD Speaks to Elijah at Horeb There Elijah entered a cave and spent the night. And the word of the LORD came to him, saying, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”  “I have been very zealous for the LORD, the God of Hosts,” he replied, “but the Israelites have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your altars, and killed Your prophets with the sword. I am the only one left, and they are seeking my life as well.” Then the LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain before the LORD. Behold, the LORD is about to pass by.” And a great and mighty wind tore into the mountains and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake there was a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a still, small voice. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Suddenly a voice came to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”   1 Kings 19:8-13

“A Still Small Voice,” that was how the Lord was speaking with Elijah now, and perhaps that was how the Lord was speaking to the people of Israel now too. They had seen God’s great power in a fire from heaven, but now he would speak with them in their hearts. Pastor Keller said, “You can’t put God in a box.” He speaks to people in different ways all the time. He gives them dreams, visions, or just a small voice in our minds.

“And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it,’ when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.”  Isaiah 30:21

I have put God in a box many times. I think he is going to do something one way when he does it in a completely different way. Sometimes that way is very painful, yet it gets the results I want. Not in a way I would ever choose; I wouldn’t allow anyone to suffer in any way. But that’s me, I’m human and weak. God knows beauty comes out of ashes. I accept that. I may not like it, but I accept it. Pain is most likely the only thing that will bring us to God and eternal life.

Has God spoken through whirlwinds, earthquakes and fire? Yes, he has, but at the right time he speaks to us through a warm meal and a kind word.

This is what the Lord did with Elijah. He told him what he wanted him to do next, that his work was not done yet. So, Elijah obeyed and eventually God took him to heaven without ever passing through death.

The Still Small Voice – Timothy Keller [Sermon] – YouTube

You Can’t Bother God.

I am one of the least qualified people in the world to write about prayer. I’m not a Bible scholar or a great prayer warrior. I’m just me, an ordinary person. But because of the discussions between myself and my sister and because I keep coming across podcasts on prayer, I felt compelled to share a few thoughts.

When I was first a Christian, at age 19, I used to beg God for things. I felt fearful and out of control of certain people and things in my life, so I begged, which did not lead to peace of mind.

I realized later that Jesus didn’t pray that way. When he was distressed and frightened about dying on a cross and having the world’s sins on his heart, he asked God that if it was possible to please take it away. But he ended his prayers with, “Nevertheless, not my will, but your will be done.”

So, I quit begging and ended my prayers in the same way Jesus did. I had also learned, through trial and error, that God’s way was always the best way.  Because of the disastrous consequences of trying to answer my own prayers by my own ideas and efforts, I gave everything to him to decide. I thought I was done with begging.

Then last week, my sister had a chance to perhaps live in a motel instead of her van. She told me how much better she felt physically because she slept well. I told her I would pray for her to be able to move into the motel.

As soon as I started praying, I could feel my emotions rise with desperation for her. I wanted so much for her to get out of homelessness. Her life wasn’t horrible, she was staying in campgrounds, which were free because she is a war veteran, but still, I knew how cramped she was in that van.

I stopped myself from begging, but the thought came into my mind, “How can I twist God’s arm to let her be able to live in that motel?” Hmm, I was pretty horrified to hear my mind thinking that. I told my sister later and we had a good laugh. She wasn’t able to stay there. They couldn’t let people stay more than three weeks. My sister is fine with that. She trusts God.

The next day, I listened to Tim Keller speak about prayer. He believed since Jesus gave parables about people who “bothered” others, then we should not feel bad about bothering God about what we need or want. The first parable was about a man who needed bread for visitors who had come to his house unexpectedly. He didn’t have enough food, so he went to his friend’s house at midnight knocking on the door. He woke the friend up who responded, “Don’t bother me. We are all in bed!” But the man wouldn’t give up and kept knocking until his friend got up and gave him food.

The second parable was about a widow who had been cheated out of her money. She kept going back to the same judge over and over to get justice. The judge didn’t care about the widow but he finally said to himself, “This woman is going to wear me out. I might as well give her what she wants.”

Jesus said the parables meant not to give up when you are praying. You can bring your concerns to him over and over again. You can’t bother God.

I do have some prayers I pray every single day. Those are the prayers for my family and other people. I know these prayers make a difference. I know God looks after these people because I ask.

There is a way to pray I’ve learned lately that I really like. I listen to audio Bible and as she reads the verses, I pray along. If the Bible says, “Praise the Lord,” I pray it. If it says, “Obey God,” I say, “Help me to obey you.” If it says, “The Lord is a shield around me, he is my glory and the lifter of my head.” I repeat the verse. It’s an easy and lovely way to pray, using God’s own words.

The last thing I will share is I often pray the Lord’s Prayer. Because it starts with, “Our Father… I pray it for me and my family.

Do You Trust People?

“Now when he was in Jerusalem at the Passover Feast, many believed in his name when they saw the signs that he was doing. But Jesus on his part did not entrust himself to them, because he knew all people and needed no one to bear witness about man, for he himself knew what was in man.”  

John 2:23-25

Jesus knew better than to trust in man because he knew what their hearts were like. We don’t, and some or most of us tend towards trust. We go to friends and family members for comfort and understanding, and many times we are treated coldly, told of our faults and misunderstood. Sometimes our search for comfort cuts deeper than the scars we already have, leaving us devastated.

We must not let this treatment lead us into despair. We must realize how people are wired. They are not wired to be our therapist. They are not strong enough for us to lean on. They are not wise like Solomon. They are just human beings encumbered by their past, their hang-ups and prejudices.

Lately, I’ve felt really sad and discouraged, mainly because of my fibromyalgia. I’ve been quite sick and weak and I am tired of feeling sick and weak. I’ve been ill for almost 30 years. I’m tired of my mental illness, which I’ve had for the same amount of time. I’m tired of my loneliness, and feelings of inadequacy.

There are other problems I have and I sometimes feel a great need for comfort from someone. But the ones I love so much are going through hard times too, and as I have learned about marriage these years, I cannot expect from people what I feel I need so desperately. I told the Lord, “I know I can only receive true comfort and strength from you. You always come through for me, every time. Help me to stop trying to find this great comfort anywhere else but in your arms.”

Expectations of others is a poison. It can turn your heart from them and they wouldn’t even know why. They are not here to fulfill my needs. They are not here to read my mind and try to make me feel good. My family has had a lot of pain and it’s hard to help each other when we are all so damaged. We are also a happy family. We laugh all the time, but there is in all of us an undercurrent of darkness or a sort of flatness since we lost my two grandsons. It is described in the Bible as having lost the light in one’s eyes.

When Job lost all ten of his children, three of his friends came to console him, but they only made him feel worse. They told him God would not let something like this happen to a man who was a believer. They told him he must have sinned.

Job said, “I have heard many things like these; miserable comforters are you all.

Is there no end to your long-winded speeches? What provokes you to continue testifying?

I could also speak like you if you were in my place;

I could heap up words against you and shake my head at you.

But I would encourage you with my mouth, and the consolation of my lips would bring relief.” Job 16:1-5

When David was in trouble with King Saul, and his friends turned against him, he wrote,

“For it is not an enemy who insults me; that I could endure.

It is not a foe who rises against me; from him I could hide.

But it is you, a man like myself, my companion and close friend.

We shared sweet fellowship together; we walked with the crowd into the house of God.”

Psalm 55:12-14

These things are very painful and as believers in God we have to deal with these experiences with the love of Jesus. He loved his disciples even when they continually misunderstood him and then deserted him. He didn’t give up on them. He did rebuke them but also forgave them and wanted them to keep following him. He is our perfect example. He will take us by our right hand and lead us forward on the everlasting path to himself.

 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”  Matthew 5:3,4

“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, then we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”  2 Corinthians 1:4         

“But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus, and not only by his coming but also by the comfort with which he was comforted by you, as he told us of your longing, your mourning, your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced still more.”  2 Corinthians 7:6,7

“Though You have shown me many troubles and misfortunes, you will revive me once again.

Even from the depths of the earth, you will bring me back up.

You will increase my honor and comfort me once again.”   Psalm 71:20,21