“Therefore, my spirit faints within me; my heart within me is appalled.” Psalm 143:4
The verse above is from a prayer by David.
Today, a neighbor talked with me while I was getting my mail. We were careful, standing at least 15 feet apart. She poured out her heart to me about her mother-in-law, who has all the symptoms of Coronavirus and nothing is being done for her. They aren’t allowed to take her to the hospital, even though there are empty beds. She is suffering at her home, all alone. She is quarantined and in pain, gasping and trying to get her breath. She is 83. The hospital told her family, “It isn’t time yet.” My friend told her mother-in-law to dial 911 (which they did once already and no one came), when she felt she was dying so someone would come get her body.
I think hospitals here are doing this because they have run out of tests for the virus, nurses are becoming infected and she is 83 years old. I can’t think of any other reason they would not even try to relieve her suffering. I see statistics on the news that the curve is flattening here in Canada. Well, that makes sense since they aren’t taking tests and are leaving people to fend for themselves and die alone. I felt so sad for this family.
My sister and I talk about the virus every day. She lives in Washington State and I live in BC, Canada. We think she has had the virus already. She was very sick a week ago, but is back to feeling awful instead of horrible. She has a lot of health problems and never feels normal.
She and I are both negative people. We have always thought the worst would probably happen to us and people we love. We are “catastrophic thinkers.” Each event, we take to the nth degree of disaster. We don’t want any surprises. This has made life extra hard for us, but we have both been working on turning to God with these thoughts. Believe me, he comes through big-time.
You know how a person gets into that kind of thinking? My sister was threatened by a family member a few times by waking up with a sharp knife at her throat. I was abused by my father. If your life is threatened by someone close to you when you are a little child, you never feel safe again.
But this is where faith in God comes in. Not that we think God won’t let us get the virus and die, no, we just trust him to know what is best. If God doesn’t want you to die, you won’t. And if you are dying, he will be with you. This gives me peace. I wrote about this recently, but I feel I should share this again.
Also, there is hope for new medicine and a vaccine. I just read last night a university in Canada has experimented and found a drug that seems to help people get better from the virus. That made me so happy. I hope they will start using it on patients soon.
The prayer of David, at the beginning of my post goes on to say:
I remember the days of old; I meditate on all Your works;
I consider the work of Your hands. I stretch out my hands to You;
my soul thirsts for You like a parched land.
Answer me quickly, O LORD; my spirit fails.
Do not hide Your face from me, or I will be like those who descend to the Pit.
Let me hear Your loving devotion in the morning, for I have put my trust in You.
Teach me the way I should walk, for to You I lift up my soul.
Deliver me from my enemies, O LORD; I flee to You for refuge.
Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God.
May Your good Spirit lead me on level ground.
This is a good prayer for this time in history. When we feel our spirit faint within us, consider the works of Jesus, stretch out your hands to him. Put your trust in him. Ask him to teach you how to live. Then rest in his love.
God says to all of us, “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you; I will surely help you;
I will hold you up with My right hand of righteousness.”