Majority Racism.

I am in the midst of reading, “Freckled: A Memoir of Growing up Wild in Hawaii,” by T.W. Neal. (Toby) It is a fascinating story of a girl growing up with Hippie parents. (This takes place in the 1970s.) Her mother and father both love to surf; I should say they live to surf.

The parents moved from La Jolla, California to Hawaii in order to live their lives surfing and getting by on odd jobs and selling jewelry made out of seashells. They lived in their van or a shack near the beach.

What struck me most about this story was the racism enacted by native Hawaiians against them and all whites who moved there. I believe the native population despised the whites because they crowded their beaches with surfers, leaving them less room, and fished for food, which perhaps made an impact on their own fishing.

Toby’s family was threatened, called names and harassed. They tried to stay off the radar by not leaving their home except to buy groceries and go to the beaches. When Toby entered first grade, she was bullied and physically hurt constantly.

As I was reading this, I of course thought about the racism in North America against the black and brown population. I’ve read many books written by black authors and know a bit about what they have gone through. They have had to bear horrific, ugly, systemic racism since they were brought here from other countries.

Toby’s family was frightened, the police wouldn’t help whites. Sound familiar? And if you think it is better now, you are wrong. A co-worker of my husband went to Hawaii recently and he and his family were harassed by people in an all-Hawaiian town that was off the beaten track.

While sitting on my balcony, I heard some young men outside discussing racism after the death of George Floyd. They were all white. One of them said, “A black guy said to me, “You don’t understand racism.” I told him, “I grew up in India and was beaten every day going back and forth from school. I was the only white kid in the neighborhood. Don’t tell me I don’t know what racism is.”

I know someone who went to prison and found out the population there is separated into two classes: The Native Americans and the Whites. (We live in Canada.) The natives there outnumber the whites and harass them. During a riot, they hung some white and half-white men.

I have a family member who was not a racist at all. She once moved to North Carolina and had a great relationship with a black guy at her job. She said to him, “Let’s go for a beer after work.” He answered, “We can’t. If I go with you to a white bar, they will kill me. If I take you to a black bar, they will beat me up. She was stunned.

Later, when she moved to Florida, she moved into a black neighborhood and got a job cleaning apartments and houses. Men at her apartment building started threatening to hurt or rape her. Men at the building she cleaned did the same. She quit her job and moved to a white area.

So, people say, “The white people flee when black people move in.” Well, yes, but has anyone asked them why? I read about a white boy who was beaten by black boys every day walking to school, just like the white boy in India.

So today, after reading about Hawaii, I realized that racism is a sickness of the majority or dominant culture. Wherever you go, it will be the majority hating and harming the minority.

What’s the answer to this? A loving heart. How I wish I could open racists bodies up and shove a loving heart inside them. God can do that for each individual but only if that person asks him to do it. He never forces himself on anyone.

Some people say education will help eradicate racism. I   think it will help a bit, but I don’t believe racism will ever be overcome in this world. There is good and evil here, and evil will play out its nastiness until Jesus returns.

The Bible says God isn’t a racist. He doesn’t care about our race or gender. Paul writes, “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3:28

I pray we all might see each person we meet as a brother or sister who needs our respect and love. I pray we might love our enemies, as Jesus told us to do. I pray we will try to understand people who are different from us. And I pray we will forgive.

Born Again. What is it and How Does it Work?

(Anyone can copy my posts for any reason.)

Lately, I’ve been listening to Tim Keller’s podcasts. He is a wonderful speaker for God. He brings things out of the Bible that I’ve never known because he has studied the culture of those times and explains the meaning of words from the Hebrew and Greek.

Today, he told a story of a woman who had become a Christian as a teenager. But through her life she tried to find peace and joy through men, work and volunteering. Finally, she saw that the love of God for her was what she had been seeking all along.

Her story is my story. I did the same things she did. When I realized no one could ever love me enough; no one could love me in the exact way I wanted to be loved, that is when I moved closer to God and found that love.

I will say, I still struggle with believing God loves me. When you have been through a rough childhood, it is hard to believe anyone loves you. But I know the feelings of not being loved by God are wrong and just feelings. He does love me, just as I am.

Here is a link to Tim Keller’s sermon. It is inspiring how he talks about being born again, how it happens and what it does.

God is Waiting on Us.

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“And yet will the Lord wait, that he may be gracious to you, and because of this he will be exalted. He longs to have mercy on you, for the Lord is a God of judgement. Blessed are all they who wait for him.”   Isaiah 30:18

In the book, “Waiting on God,” Andrew Murry points out that not only are we to wait patiently on God, but that God waits patiently on us.

Murray writes, “Look up and see the great God upon his throne. He is love…and has an inexpressible desire to communicate his goodness to all his creatures… He waits with all the longings of a father’s heart. And each time you come to wait upon him, or seek to maintain in daily life the habit of waiting, you may look up and see him ready to meet with you.”

There is a picture in the Bible of God waiting for us. It is in the story of the prodigal son, who left his father and home to go into the world to find happiness. The son finds fun, but no lasting happiness and decides to go home and ask to be a servant in his father’s house.

But the father is watching the road. He is waiting and hoping for his son to return. And when he sees him coming down the road, the father jumps up and runs; he runs until he is with his son and he hugs him and welcomes him with open arms.

This is a picture of God waiting for us. And even if we are Christians and have given our lives to God, he waits each day for us to come spend time with him – telling him about our thoughts and feelings. Asking him for wisdom, and reading in the Bible those things he would like us to do. He waits, and sometimes he waits all day for us to come give him some attention and we ignore him. He wants to share our lives with him. We need to share our lives with him.

If I had shared my deepest pain with him on a certain day, I wouldn’t have taken sleeping pills and passed out. He would have taken my pain and helped me through the problem of my aching heart. He would have shown me that he is bigger than any pain this world can give.

C.S. Lewis told a friend that after 30 years of praying, he had finally forgiven someone who had betrayed him. I think perhaps he meant he finally had the feeling of anger and hate gone towards that person. I think if we say, “I forgive this person,” then we have forgiven. Our feelings confuse us and lead us astray. But still, it took 30 years for his feelings to catch up with his wanting to forgive. So, this may be a kind of waiting on God. Waiting means staying with God and not giving up, like being tired of waiting in line at a store and finally giving up and leaving. No, we must stay in Jesus, because he is our only hope in this life.

Jesus said, “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me, he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned.”   John 15:4-6

Murry writes, “The giver is more than the gift; God is more than the blessings he gives. And our being kept waiting on him could be the only way for our learning to find our life and joy are in him himself. Oh, if only God’s children knew what a glorious God they have, and what a privilege it is to be linked in fellowship with him, then they would rejoice in Him!”

(I changed a few words when I was quoting Murry. He speaks in old English, so I cut a few words or changed them a bit. The book is well worth buying.)

My Husband’s Stroke.

Two weeks ago, my husband had a “massive stroke.” The doctor called us and told us to prepare for the worst. They told my daughters, who live 6 hours away to, “Leave now.” So, they did. We called all our family and all his family. Everyone started praying.

Because I have been a Christian for 50 years and there have been other deaths in our family, I believed God knew what he was doing, (which wasn’t always the case.). I told God I knew my husband was in his hands and I trusted him to do what was best for all of us.

My husband lived for a day, and then another day and began rapidly improving. The doctors were stunned. His speech was slurring slightly and his face drooped a bit, but he could move his left arm and leg, which had been paralyzed.

He seemed to have all his past memories intact, but his short-term memories would come and go. He wasn’t sure why he was in the hospital each morning and he had forgotten about the pandemic. He asked me on the phone why I hadn’t come to visit, so my daughter made a sign to hang by his bed which explained about Covid-19 and that we weren’t allowed to visit.

At the beginning, when the doctors thought he was dying, they allowed me into the ICU to see him. In order to get past the front desk of the hospital, I had to say, “My husband is dying.” Those words felt strange to me, as if I was lying to them, as if it couldn’t possibly be true.

I held my husband’s hand and we spoke awhile until he fell asleep. I was glad he knew who I was and could respond. He was shocked he had a stroke. He thought it was carcinoid tumors, which he has had for over 20 years, that had caused this illness.

The next day, he seemed worse, more tired than before and barely spoke. I didn’t expect him to live much longer. But lo and behold, the next day he was joking with the nurses! He was weak, but alert. It was wonderful to see. They moved him out of ICU a few days later and put him in a regular ward.

Well, there was a lot of rejoicing in the family, as you can imagine. We thank God for healing him. I know God does not heal everyone from an illness. If he did, then no one would die and we would be pretty crowded here on earth. Death is a part of life and I accept that. I want to thank him here on this blog, for giving me his comfort, strength and love during this hard time. This is his greatest gift to the world. He gave these things to me when my grandson died and I knew he would do it again.

God’s peace inside me is something I want the world to know, because those who don’t believe in God don’t realize what they are missing. I wish everyone would give God a chance to show them what he can do. He is light, love, mercy, forgiveness, peace, and joy.

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”   Isaiah 26:3

Have I always had perfect peace? No. It took me many years to learn to trust God. I had been abused as a child by my father, so learning to trust God was very hard for me. But the longer my mind was, “stayed on God,” the more I began to trust. I used to rage and wail against the dark things in my life, but no more. I’ve found that in the deepest dark I am actually learning and growing as a person. And God is there standing beside me, giving me strength and hope.

God says:

“I have upheld you and carried you since the day you were born. Even to your old age and grey hairs, I am he.

I have made you; I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.”     Isaiah 46:3,4

Love in the Old Testament.

I believe that whatever God said to the nation of Israel in the Old Testament was also a message to all God’s followers. I’ve been reading the book of Isaiah recently. I was reminded why this book was one of my favorites, even when I was in my twenties. The beauty of God’s relentless love shines out of this book.

These are some verses that have lifted me up the last few weeks:

“I have held you up since the day of your birth. I have carried you since you were born. Even to your old age and grey hairs, I am he. I am he who will sustain you. I have made you; I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.”

“Look, he (God) tends his flock like a shepherd; he gathers the lambs in his arms; he carries them close to his heart and leads those that have young.”

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even young people grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall. But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint.”

“Do not be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will hold you up by my righteous right hand.”

“For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, “Do not fear. I will help you. I myself will help you.”

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine.”

“I have swept away your sins like a cloud. Your sins, like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you.”

“Turn to me and be saved, all the ends of the earth; for I am God and there is no other.”

“If only you had paid attention to me, your peace would have been like a river, your well-being like the waves of the sea.”

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast? Will she have no compassion on the child she has borne? Even though mothers can forget, yet I will not forget you. Your name is engraved on the palms of my hands. Your ways are always before me.”

I heard someone on a podcast say that God didn’t tell people in the Old Testament that he loved them. I’m not sure why he would have said that. The Old Testament is full of the love of God. Many times God said he loved us. The angel Gabriel told Daniel he was, “greatly beloved.”

No, there is lots of death and war in the Old Testament and people don’t understand why all that happened and seem to be afraid of the God of the Old Testament. I was that way too.

I knew from the way Jesus acted God was full of love, so I studied why these killings and wars happened. Now I understand God’s purposes. It was in mercy for the thousands of innocent people who lived among cruel, murderous people that he stepped in and stopped what the evil ones were doing. And I, for one, am grateful he did.

Eunuchs, Widows and Divorcees.

Eunuchs in ancient times.

I’ve noticed in the Old Testament that often God calls out to people who are lonely and rejected. He knows how they feel, enters into their thoughts and tells them he can fill the emptiness inside them.

eunuch (noun) · eunuchs (plural noun)A man who has been castrated, especially (in the past) one employed to guard the women’s living areas at an oriental court.

He tells the eunuchs of ancient times:

Let not the eunuch say, “I am but a dry tree.”

For this is what the LORD says: “To the eunuchs who keep My Sabbaths,

who choose what pleases Me and hold fast to My covenant—

I will give them, in My house and within My walls, a memorial and a name

better than that of sons and daughters. I will give them an everlasting name that will not be cut off.    Isaiah 56:3-5

He speaks to women who cannot bear children, to the widow and to the woman who is divorced. (These events were considered disastrous and shameful in ancient times.)

 “Shout for joy, O barren woman, who bears no children;

break forth in song and cry aloud, you who have never travailed;

because more are the children of the desolate womanthan of her who has a husband,” says the Lord. (I’m not sure what God means by this. Perhaps in heaven these women will be given children to raise.)

“Enlarge the site of your tent, stretch out the curtains of your dwellings,

do not hold back. Lengthen your ropes

and drive your stakes in deep. For you will spread out to the right and left;

your descendants will dispossess the nations and inhabit the desolate cities.

Do not be afraid, for you will not be put to shame; do not be intimidated, for you will not be humiliated.

For you will forget the shame of your youth and will remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.

For your husband is your Maker—the LORD of Hosts is His name—

the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; He is called the God of all the earth.

For the LORD has called you back, like a wife deserted and wounded in spirit,

like the rejected wife of one’s youth,” says your God.    

Isaiah 54:1-6

And for those who long for the deep love of a man/woman, the Lord even compares himself to someone who is full of longing to be with his love:

Listen! My beloved approaches. Look! Here he comes,

leaping across the mountains, bounding over the hills.

My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag.

Look, he stands behind our wall,

gazing through the windows, peering through the lattice.

My beloved calls to me, “Arise, my darling.

Come away with me, my beautiful one.

For the winter is past; the rain is over and gone.

The flowers have appeared in the countryside; the season of singing has come,

and the cooing of turtledoves is heard in our land.

The fig tree ripens its figs; the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.

Arise, come away, my darling; come away with me, my beautiful one.” Song of Solomon 2:8-13

I love picturing Jesus running to my house and looking through the window to see if I am home. He sees me and asks me to run away with him! Wow. God’s love is exciting!

These verses have always made me smile and they give us insight into God and how he feels about those who need him, which is everyone. God doesn’t seem far away when we meditate on words like this.

God’s Relentless Love.

I’ve written about how God sent Isaiah to warn the tribe of Judah, which included the city of Jerusalem, against forming alliances with Assyria. Later on, the King of Judah sent emissaries to Egypt for help.  Isaiah told them they should trust God to save them because he said he would, but the people wouldn’t believe and said, “See no more visions! Give us no more visions of what is right! Leave here and stop confronting us with the Holy One of Israel!”

God said to them, “Because you have rejected this message, relied on oppression and deceit, this sin will become like a high wall that is cracked and bulging. It collapses suddenly, in an instant.”

He said, “In repentance and rest is your salvation; in quietness and trust is your strength. But you would have none of it. You said, ‘No, we will flee on horses.’ “Well then, flee! Your pursuers will be swift. A thousand of your men will flee at the threat of one…”

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you and he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of Justice. Blessed are those who wait for him.

I was moved at the words about God in the last paragraph. He tried to save them from war, he begged them to trust in him to save them, but look at what they said back to God’s prophet! They showed utter contempt for Isaiah and for God.

And yet… God longed to be good to them. He would still show them compassion.

I know a lot of people don’t like to read the Old Testament, but along with the killing and wars there are a multitude of verses that speak of why God is doing what he does and how much he wants us to belong to him. He wants to bless us in this awful world. That doesn’t mean he will always heal our illnesses or make sure we have lots of money. No, his blessings are higher and greater than that.

His blessings are gifts from heaven, a heart that is changed to be like his heart, full of love and goodness. We can become a blessing to the world by helping others. We can have peace and joy, even in the midst of a Covid-19 crisis, even if we have lost everything this world has to give, and even if we die. What I find to be the greatest blessing is telling him all my problems and worries and then just leaving it up to him to take care of. It is wonderful to know he is walking beside us, behind us and before us all the years of our lives.

I Don’t Know What Title to Give this Post.

In my last post, I quoted from a book by Eugene H. Peterson. I usually quote from books and authors that have helped me. I know that when I read posts like that, I sometimes buy the book. But now I feel I should not have encouraged anyone to buy one of his books.

After reading good things about Pastor Peterson and his translation of the Bible called, “The Message,” I bought three paperbacks written by him. I started reading two of them, but was put off by his attitude towards non-Christians. He wrote of them, not in terms of love and pity, but with unkind judgement.

I did not finish those two books, but started “Life at It’s Best.” I thought I might have judged him too harshly myself and decided to give him another try. I did like the opening chapters, as I said previously, but when I came to chapter 14, I came upon that same unloving attitude.

He tells a story of his life when he was in the hospital to have surgery on his nose. The surgery was over and he lay in bed in pain. A new patient entered the room who was to have a tonsillectomy. He was in his early twenties, nice looking and friendly. I will now quote from the book leaving some sentences out for brevity:

“He came over to me, put out his hand and said, ‘Hi, my name is Kelly. What happened to you?’ I was in no mood for friendly conversation, did not return the handshake, grunted my name and said that I had had my nose broken. He got the message that I did not want o talk, pulled the curtain between our beds and let me alone…

Later in the evening the young man asked Peterson, “Well, what do you do?” Peterson writes, “I’m a pastor.” ‘Oh,’ he said and turned away; I was no longer an interesting subject.

In the morning he woke me, ‘Peterson, Peterson wake up.’ I groggily came awake and asked what he wanted. ‘I want you to pray for me; I’m scared.’ And so, before he was taken to surgery, I went to his bedside and prayed for him.

When he was brought back a couple of hours later, a nurse came and said, ‘Kelly, I am going to give you an injection that should take care of any pain you might have.’

In twenty minutes or so he began to groan, ‘I hurt. I can’t stand it. I’m going to die.’

I rang for the nurse and when she came said, ‘Nurse, I don’t think that shot did any good; why don’t you give him another one.’ She didn’t acknowledge my credentials for making such a suggestion, told me curtly that she would oversee the medical care of the patient, turned on her heel and left. Meanwhile, Kelly continued to vent his agony.

…he began to hallucinate, and having lost touch with reality began to shout, ‘Peterson, pray for me, can’t you see I’m dying? Peterson, pray for me.’ His shouts brought nurses, doctors and orderlies running…’”

His story ends there but it is how he would not shake hands with the young man and be interested in him that bothered me at the very beginning. You may say, “Well, he was in pain.” Yes, but Jesus was in pain on the cross and he spoke with love and mercy to the man hanging beside him. He saw there a man he loved and was dying to save.

Peterson next makes a conclusion about the young man in the story. He seems to wash his hands of him. I will quote what he wrote here:

“The parabolic force of the incident is this; when the man was scared, he wanted me to pray for him, and when the man was crazy, he wanted me to pray for him. But in between, during the hours of normalcy, he didn’t want anything to do with a pastor. What Kelly betrayed in extremis is all many people know of religion; a religion to help them with their fears, but which is forgotten when the fears are taken care of; a religion made of moments of craziness but which is remote and shadowy in the clear light of the sun and in their routines of every day. The most religious places in the world …are not churches but battlefields and mental hospitals…”

Peterson goes on to say how much better Christians are:

“Nevertheless, we Christians don’t go to either place to nurture our faith. We don’t deliberately put ourselves in places of fearful danger to evoke heartfelt prayer and we don’t put ourselves in psychiatric wards so we can be around those who clearly see visions.”

He goes on to say Christians have stability etc. Really? All Christians? Well, stability would be lovely to have, but I’ve met many Christians who are not stable and I am mentally ill so stability in my feelings is not normal for me. I have to pray and work hard on having stability.

Also, yes people pray when they are in danger. God uses that all the time. For the first time in their lives, some people may face death; and it makes them stop and think about eternity and God. That is a wonderful thing, a blessing from God! He will gladly take us just as we are, in that very moment when we are frightened. The criminal who died with Jesus probably had heard all about him and what he taught. He saw how Jesus treated the soldiers who crucified him. He saw how he took care of his mother. He heard the shouts of people who hated Jesus and said, “He said he is the Son of God.” So, he turned and looked on Jesus and said, “Lord, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” Jesus promised him he would be with him in Paradise.

Jesus looks on those who are lost with the greatest pity and love. God does everything he can to save them. We should look on each person in the world as a person with a spirit and soul that Jesus longs to save.

As I said, I don’t know what title to give this post. I’m sorry I sort of recommended Peterson and his books. I rarely agree completely with every Christian book I read; but I’ve never felt like I had to apologize for encouraging people to read something. I do this time; I’m sorry.

Give God a Chance.

David singing for King Saul.

Psalm 34.  (In my own words.)

I will praise the Lord always. I will enjoy his company. Let those who are in trouble hear me and also rejoice!

I looked for the Lord and he answered me. He saved me from my fears. Angels of God surround those who revere him.

Try on the Lord, like a coat in a store, and see if he fits. Taste him, and you will see that he is good. You will be blessed by him. Fear God, for those who are in awe of him will lack no good thing.

If you love life, do not lie; turn away from evil and do good. Seek peace. God’s eyes are on us. His ears hear us. He is close to those whose hearts are broken. He saves those who are crushed in spirit.

In this world, we will have trouble, but God delivers us. Evil will kill the wicked, but in the last judgement, God’s people will not be condemned!

Can You be a Christian and not Love God?

The last few weeks I have either heard or read Christians say, “We don’t obey God because we want to be saved, are afraid of him or want something from him. We obey God because we love him.”

This always gives me pause because of the number of years I have not felt love for God. I first gave my life to him because he showed me through a dream that I was lost. I saw Jesus returning and wasn’t ready. That dream terrified me.

My grandmother gave me a book about God and I loved it. Then I went to an evangelistic meeting. I enjoyed that also, but when they asked if anyone wanted to come forward to give their lives to Christ, I didn’t do it until the last night. That was the night the preacher talked about Jesus and his death on the cross for us. I felt love and gratitude and walked up to the stage to give myself to Jesus.

So, I guess I could say I came to God through fear and then love. But the love feeling didn’t last. Because of my church’s teachings, I started feeling very afraid to sin and believed God would turn away from me if I sinned. I don’t remember any teachings about how we will sin and how God will always be there for us.

So, I was afraid. I became legalistic too and looked down on those who weren’t as “good” as I was. I’m not sure how you can have both feelings, but I guess I went back and forth between them. When I did sin or make a mistake, I couldn’t pray for days because I felt so guilty.

I then learned about, “righteousness through faith,” from a new preacher in my church. This was wonderful news to me and I embraced it. I felt at peace with God for quite a few years.

But then some traumatic things happened in our family. I couldn’t understand why God would allow such pain. I felt repulsed by the way he ran the world and let people suffer. Not just my family, but everyone in the world. I was filled with anger towards him. I walked away from him.

Four years later, when I came back to him, I had read books on why God allows suffering. These books had helped me a lot and I could understand why things were the way they were. But love? No, I didn’t feel love for God and for the most part, I didn’t really believe he loved me.

This went on for years, and the thing is that even though I didn’t feel love for God, I wanted to be a good person and I knew God was the only way to be that. I felt as Jesus said, I hungered and thirsted for righteousness. I cared about justice, mercy, forgiveness, love, compassion, generosity and patience.

I loved what God stood for, but it was so hard for me to equate that with a person in heaven. Maybe because men had hurt me all my life, I couldn’t think of God in a loving way.

So then, if I took to heart what these Christians say about obeying God because I felt love for him, I would have given up in despair. But I learned from Joyce Meyer not to rely on my feelings. They are fickle and unreliable.

One of my sisters feels no love at all for God. She was angry with him for many years. But God wouldn’t let her go. He called her, he bugged her, he chased her until she reluctantly gave in to him. She worships him every day. She is learning about him every day. She is growing every day. There is a huge change in her, although she cannot see it, I do.

In fact, the way God has dealt with my sister has made me love him. Not many people love her. One reason is she always says the truth of what she thinks or believes. She doesn’t let people get away with bullshitting her. She is direct and pulls no punches, but that is one of the reasons I love her so much. She is straight with me; I don’t have to guess where she stands.

I’ve told her I think the thing God loves most about her is her honesty. She doesn’t want to hurt people with honesty, that is just her personality and most people don’t like it. But God does. I know he does, and oh how that makes me love him.

I only started having consistent “feelings” of love for God the last few years. I became a Christian at 19 and I am now 69. It has been a long wait for me. I had moments of that loving feeling, but they didn’t last. Now, it feels like my heart will burst with love and the joy of knowing God. It was worth the wait; I’m so happy.

I wrote this for those who have no feelings for God and think they should. I’m sure God understands feelings and knows they can’t be counted on. I think he wants us to worship him because we admire what he stands for: truth, faithfulness, justice, kindness, forgiveness, mercy, long-suffering, tolerance, and most of all love.

But honestly, I believe God will take us any way he can get us. He loves us that much.