It has been a roller coaster ride with my mother the past month. She is now back in the hospital because I injured myself and can barely walk. I’m using her cane now, which is kind of ironic.
While taking care of my mom, my feet started to hurt. I thought it was just more fibromyalgia, but it turned out to be Plantar Fasciitis. It was quite painful, but manageable. Then a few days ago, I twisted my foot while helping Mom. A pain shot up my leg and that was it – I couldn’t walk.
Mom rarely slept more than 1-2 hours at a time. She needed to be turned over constantly. That night, my husband stayed up and took care of her. We sent for an ambulance in the morning to take her to the hospital because we had no one to take care of her. The hospital wasn’t too happy, ( as in, “Don’t you know the hospital is for sick people!) but there was nothing else we could do.
The people at the hospital thought Mom wasn’t sick, just recuperating from her hip operation. But she was sick – very sick. Even her doctor wouldn’t believe me until Mom stayed overnight, and the nurses told everyone how sick Mom was. Her tests came back normal – that’s why they wouldn’t believe me. Well, tests or not, I knew she was very sick and dying. I mean, they knew she wasn’t eating, hadn’t been eating enough for many months. Don’t you die when you stop eating? She would drink a bit of Boost, but not enough to keep well.
The second night she was there, someone made a mistake and she was given two sleeping pills. She went into kidney failure. They actually admitted to me they almost killed her! I was surprised by the admission.
We went to see her again today. She is the same, except she was shivering all over because she was cold. We got three more blankets for her and she finally warmed up. She told us the nurses were all wonderful and very kind. I was happy to hear that.
I read Psalm 139 to my mom when I visited. She loved it so much. Here it is:
You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.