Mom is Dying.

didn’t know there were stages in dying until I searched with Google tonight. My mother is passing through the initial stage and has moved on to one of the symptoms of the final stage. She feels restless and needs to change her position in bed. Every 3 or 4 minutes.

She needs my help to do this, so I’m  sitting beside her bed reading up on how we humans die and how to do the best I can for her. I want her to be comfortable and peaceful.

My mom broke her hip, had an operation and was sent to a rehab facility. She was supposed to stay there a week, but as my sister Liz said to my mom two days ago, “This is a prison break, Mom. We’re  busting you out of here.”

From the first hour she was there, it was like they didn’t see her as an individual, but as just another sick person needing physiotherapy. She turned 90 while in the hospital. Do you think they might have realized how frail and weak she was? It didn’t seem like it at all.

My sister told me they had her sit in a hard chair at a table in the dining room. Dinner still hadn’t  arrived 45 minutes later. My mom felt so awful my sister took her to her room. Luckily, Sis had brought some food for Mom and she ate a bit. My daughter complained about this, but they said that’s  the way things were done.

I came the next morning. My mother was in a wheelchair staring out the window. She said she needed to use the washroom. I rang for a nurse who began berating Mom, saying she had just taken her 10 minutes earlier. I decided Mom had to come home.

Once at home, the facility called and told us Mom had a bladder infection. That was why she needed to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes. We have the antibiotic and are giving it to her.

Mom quit eating anything yesterday. The day before she only had chicken broth. She hasn’t been eating enough for months. One thing she made me promise was to never, ever let anyone force-feed her if she was dying.

Mom didn’t want to drink yesterday, but is drinking water today. She has no interest in anything but trying to sleep. It’s  11:22pm and I’ve changed her position at least 20 times since I began writing. I  might be up all night, but I just feel blessed by God that I can help my mom leave this life like she helped me to enter it. New moms don’t  get much sleep either.






27 thoughts on “Mom is Dying.

  1. My sister works as a nurse and tells me there’s a certain nursing home which has the worst case if patients who have bed sores that are brought to the hospital she works at. I’m so sorry for you, your sister, and your Mom, Belle. It’s so hard just to realize we ourselves are getting to that age of losing our parents whom we thought would be with us until we grow old. Will pray for you, Belle. 🌹🍃

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much. I’m so busy looking after my mother that I have little time to spare and when I do, I’m exhausted. It’s getting easier the last few days because of the sleeping pills the doctor ordered for Mom. I’ll try to get back to blogging soon.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. God bless after loosing my mom nearly two weeks ago after being in a convalescent home for just over two years your words move me. A few of my blogs speak of her last days and the difficulty and joy of being at her side when she was dying and as she took her last breath. I hope you find the comfort my family did after years of struggle. Thoughts and prayers with you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Belle, I am so sorry to hear about all that your Mom and you have been going through. As a former Chronic Care nurse, I see both sides of the coin. Most places are so under -staffed and over-worked that the patients don’t get the proper care that they need or have a right to. But I have also seen some very shoddy nursing all due to laziness.

    When my Mom had both her hips replaced at the same time, a nurse grabbed both her legs and pulled sideways – specifically against the orders posted at the top of her bed! This action caused severe pain and difficulties afterwards. Two years later, after complaining of constant pain there, it was discovered that her femur had been broken in 2 places!

    May God richly bless you, comfort you, and strengthen you as you honour your mother in this very special way.

    I also pray for great comfort and peace for your mom.

    Love in Christ

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much. Yes, like I said to the manager of the nursing home, “I want someone by my mother’s side 24/7. I know that isn’t possible, so I want to bring her home.”

      Wow. I am sorry about what happened to your mom. My husband and I are doing pretty well taking care of my mother. I gave her a sponge bath in her bed today and even washed her hair. I’m learning as I go.


      1. You are very blessed to have a husband who is willing to help you in taking care of your Mom. Although this is a difficult and challenging time, I am sure that it is drawing you and your mom closer together and that you will have very special, loving memories of this time.

        Liked by 1 person

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