Sometimes I get a glimpse of what I would be like without God in my life. Last night, I had a terrible time getting to sleep. As soon as I would nod off, my brain would jerk me awake. This happened three times. I felt so upset and discouraged, I prayed and finally fell asleep.
This morning, my daughter and granddaughter came over at 11:00 am. They woke me (how nice, Lol) and we were visiting in the living room. My granddaughter turned on the TV and there were some people on it who were laughing and enjoying themselves. I looked at them and thought, “Yeah, sure, laugh it up.” I felt angry at their happiness.
I told my daughter what I was feeling and she was shocked. I said, “It’s a good thing I pray each morning before I get up or I would be the biggest bitch in this city.” My granddaughter laughed, but I know that is the truth. Without God, I would be angry, bitter, cynical and jealous of other people’s happiness. Sheesh, what a mess I am.
The things I write on my blog about living a Christian life are concepts I ardently believe in. Living them is something else. I try, but of course I stumble and fall. The carnal part of me, as Joyce Meyer points out, sometimes takes over. But I know that when I stumble, it’s a chance to learn something about myself that I can talk over with God. I don’t let it discourage me anymore. It’s a good thing to be humbled.