A Glimpse.

Sometimes I get a glimpse of what I would be like without God in my life. Last night, I had a terrible time getting to sleep. As soon as I would nod off, my brain would jerk me awake. This happened three times. I felt so upset and discouraged, I prayed and finally fell asleep.

This morning, my daughter and granddaughter came over at 11:00 am. They woke me (how nice, Lol) and we were visiting in the living room. My granddaughter turned on the TV and there were some people on it who were laughing and enjoying themselves. I looked at them and thought, “Yeah, sure, laugh it up.” I felt angry at their happiness.

I told my daughter what I was feeling and she was shocked. I said, “It’s a good thing I pray each morning before I get up or I would be the biggest bitch in this city.” My granddaughter laughed, but I know that is the truth. Without God, I would be angry, bitter, cynical and jealous of other people’s happiness. Sheesh, what a mess I am.

The things I write on my blog about living a Christian life are concepts I ardently believe in. Living them is something else. I try, but of course I stumble and fall. The carnal part of me, as Joyce Meyer points out, sometimes takes over. But I know that when I stumble, it’s a chance to learn something about myself that I can talk over with God. I don’t let it discourage me anymore. It’s a good thing to be humbled.

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12 thoughts on “A Glimpse.

  1. So good to know others struggle. I’m generally pretty good, but sometimes that gets in the way as well. Because I just want everyone to get along and they don’t nor do they even try. For me, instead of fighting I acquiesce and that is always a good thing. What if my faith is really tested? how will I fare? If it’s black or white, I have no problem, but it’s the gray areas that are hard. I think part of that is that in a day when you can meet with disdain for not accepting certain norms that the masses follow, you’re out. It’s quite the conundrum. I hope and know God reads hearts because I sure have a hard time.

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    1. I think when your faith is really tested, it will be crystal clear what God wants you to do. What will we do at such a time? We don’t know ourselves enough to know. But I do know this, if we think like Peter, …”Even if everyone betrays you, I won’t,” we will surely fall. It is good to realize that without God, we can’t do anything.

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        1. I looked it up and then remembered reading about it. So, how would we fare if we were tortured for our faith? I’ve considered that a few times. I hope I would be faithful to God. I believe he would help us through it. I read about 2 men who were Protestants when the Catholic Church was burning heretics. The one who was not arrested yet asked his friend to lift his arm if God was making it bearable. He went to see him burned and right before his friend died, he lifted his arm.

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          1. Yes, in the film the priest broke, but for different reasons. I think when others continue to die for you, it would be so much harder. It’s one thing to give up your own life. but for others to be brutally killed in masses so that you shall live?

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            1. That is a different situation, isn’t it? I do think this, that whatever trial God allows us to go through, there will be the wisdom and strength to go through it. I don’t think he would take us through something we couldn’t handle with him. It says in the Bible that he will with each trial always make a way of escape. But what that escape looks like, I don’t know. Since the priest broke for other people, well, who can judge him?

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